Friends

Ever since I was a child, my mother raised me to recognize various kinds of friends. There are three different kinds of friends in this life. I classify them according to how well I know them and how well they know me. We encounter each of them everyday, whether in school, home, or at play. However, we rarely spend much time actually thinking about and classifying these people. First, there are the “pest friends” – general acquaintances. Next, there are “guest friends” – social partners. Lastly, we have our “best friends” – our true friends.
The first type of friend is simply an acquaintance or someone we know. This means that you basically only know their name. You might not even remember what they look like if you away for a short vacation. Usually, you meet these types of friends in college, at work, on bus, or anywhere else you might be. You normally would not mind having a cup of coffee with them, but if anything else came up, you usually would have no problem parting company. You normally don’t miss them when they are elsewhere. It is also this type of friends who give you the most amount of irrigation. Since most of the time you are placed in a position where you have to act friendly, such as school or work, you would not normally tell a friend when he or she is doing something irritating, such as tapping the fingers on a table or chewing gum loudly. This is why I call them “pest friends”.
The second category of friends I call “social partners”. This is because they are closer than acquaintances, but nowhere near as close as a true friend. Social partners are usually acquaintances who evolve into “guest friends” through increased extracurricular activities. You know their name, a little of what they like or dislike, a little of their family history, and usually have several things in common. As the saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together,” so too the social partners have to have several things in common. No one is going to want to spend any more time than necessary with somebody completely opposite and irritating to him. Keep in mind, that the biggest thing that distinguishes a “best friend” from a “guest friend” is the fact that “guest friends” usually don’t talk about anything deep or personal, such as their innermost desires and fears.
Usually, “guest friends” enjoy keeping the topic of conversation happy and light. They would not open up to you how they are really feeling. They are still preoccupied with “saving face”. You still do enjoy hanging out with them. But when the going gets tough, they are not there for you.
The last type of friend is the “best friend”. Normally, you know them the longest. You probably grew up together as children. He or she knows everything about you. Likewise, you know everything about him or her. They are basically like family. You would have no problem if they spent the night at your house. You know each other’s habit and can always tell when there is something wrong. You would not hesitate to share your deepest feelings or thoughts with them. “A true friend will see you through when others see that you are through”. A true friend has no problem correcting you of line. Likewise, a true friend will love you like a member of his own family. He will always be there for you. They are not perfect, but at lest they will always look out for you and help you and never do anything intentionally to hurt you.
On a final note, I would like to take sometime to say that we should always remember to keep in mind what kind of a friend we are to other people. Pest, guest and best friends surround us all. We should always strive to be the best friends that we can be. Also, as the saying goes, “You can’t use your friends and have them too”. We should appreciate and value all friendships that come into our lives, no matter how deep or superficial. We should always remember that all best friends started out as strangers.

Friendship is more than Friends

“True friendship is seen through the heart not through the eyes.”
Friendship is one of those parts of life that we at times take for granted. It rolls off of our tongues as if we expect it to be present in all areas of our lives. I hear our ‘friendship is forever’ or ‘friends always’ is a common thread that runs through our lives. But in truth how many true friendships do you have? Think for a moment and list those you feel are true friends and those with which you have a close relationship. Are they true friends? Is their friendship from the heart? How many people do you truly see as friends?
“Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and understanding.”
Friendship is a gift that two people give to each other. It is not an expected result of meeting but a true and unanticipated gift of enormous potential. True friends form a special connection that will weather any storm. True friends understand being human and give the other room to grow. True friends are there even when they are not expected to be present. True friends know and cherish each other’s gift.
“Friendship is love with understanding.”
Friendship is a path of unrelenting compassion. It is a view of life that encompasses not just your life but the life of the other. It is a special bond that is created out of genuine affection and is given freely to those who have shown their truth. It is given without the thought of reward but with the essence of the heart which longs for this special connection.
“Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence.”
When friendship comes from the heart it forms a link to our soul that cannot be broken. It connects so strongly that even death does not sever the cord. That type of friendship exists forever in the realm of wonder for true friendship is genuinely a wondrous thing. It connects the physical with the spiritual and creates an energy that is impossible to describe.
“False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces; but true friendship gives new life and animation to the object it supports.”
Friendship brings light into your world for it gives you the missing link to your soul. It provides a passageway from one heart to another and allows the transference of peace and solitude. Friendship gives and receives all that your innermost spirit desires for within friendship you will discover the Creator’s love.
“The best mirror is an old friend.”
When you look at your true friends you will uncover who you are. You will see a reflection of your soul and will in turn become educated in the pathway you follow. You will see your world before you and will see without any doubts the truth of your way. You see true friends are simply your self in disguise. By uncovering that disguise you see before your eyes the world you created and the being your have become.

Sense of Friendship

Friendship offers social and psychological benefits across the lifespan and has different values at different stages of life. Friendship in its broadest sense can be considered a connection between human beings alleviating the isolation of the individual human psyche. Friendship develops across the life cycle and changes as the nature of human psychology and social interactions changes. There are different ways of viewing the life cycle, one way being to see it extending through a series of stages covering infancy, pre-school, early adolescence, adolescence, early adulthood, middle adulthood, and late adulthood. Friendship is important at each of these stages and provides specific comfort and needed interpersonal connections for each individual.

The stages can be framed in different ways and have been by different theorists, and one of the more interesting is that of Erik Erikson because he also links each stage with life conflicts which help identify both the stage and the "problem" to be overcome as part of human development. Erikson's approach is a psychosocial theory of development which describes a series of eight stages in the development of the individual throughout life--Erikson divides the life cycle somewhat differently to get eight stages. This is based on the interaction of biological, psychological, and social processes, and it is the interaction of these processes that accounts for the "psycho" (inner) "social" (external) character of development.

Everyone have readings from literature on friendship, personal written responses to the literature, supported rea dings of the literature for the purpose of preparing a performance to share the literature with others, performance related to the literature, and jo

urnal writing on the topic of friendship. The authors conducted research using this unit and detailed the findings: In the various activity settings that we have described, the children read and wrote for a broad range of purposes, including indicating their understanding of the stories, expressing their own opinions, creatively representing the stories to others, and reflecting on their own beliefs about friendship. They experienced reading and writing in holis tic and integra te d ways. They assisted each other during activities, sharing their expertise and knowledge. Finally, from a developmental standpoint, the instruction began with the children, bo th in terms of their concerns about friendship and in terms of their current literacy levels. Friendship across the life cycle ca n also be identified with social support, something each person needs both to have support from a community and to be part of a community that gives support to others. . .

Element of Friendship

The other element of friendship is tenderness. We are holden to men by every sort of tie, by blood, by pride, by fear, by hope, by lucre, by lust, by hate, by admiration, by every circumstance and badge and trifle, but we can scarce believe that so much character can subsist in another as to draw us by love. Can another be so blessed, and we so pure, that we can offer him tenderness? When a man becomes dear to me, I have touched the goal of fortune. I find very little written directly to the heart of this matter in books. And yet I have one text which I cannot choose but remember. My author says, — "I offer myself faintly and bluntly to those whose I effectually am, and tender myself least to him to whom I am the most devoted." I wish that friendship should have feet, as well as eyes and eloquence. It must plant itself on the ground, before it vaults over the moon. I wish it to be a little of a citizen, before it is quite a cherub. We chide the citizen because he makes love a commodity. It is an exchange of gifts, of useful loans; it is good neighbourhood; it watches with the sick; it holds the pall at the funeral; and quite loses sight of the delicacies and nobility of the relation. But though we cannot find the god under this disguise of a sutler, yet, on the other hand, we cannot forgive the poet if he spins his thread too fine, and does not substantiate his romance by the municipal virtues of justice, punctuality, fidelity, and pity. I hate the prostitution of the name of friendship to signify modish and worldly alliances. I much prefer the company of ploughboys and tin-peddlers, to the silken and perfumed amity which celebrates its days of encounter by a frivolous display, by rides in a curricle, and dinners at the best taverns. The end of friendship is commerce the most strict and homely that can be joined; more strict than any of which we have experience. It is for aid and comfort through all the relations and passages of life and death. It is fit for serene days, and graceful gifts, and country rambles, but also for rough roads and hard fare, shipwreck, poverty, and persecution. It keeps company with the sallies of the wit and the trances of religion. We are to dignify to each other the daily needs and offices of man's life, and embellish it by courage, wisdom, and unity. It should never fall into something usual and settled, but should be alert and inventive, and add rhyme and reason to what was drudgery.

Friends & Friendship

A lot of people go through life with only a few friends. It seems that some have less than that. They have no one on whom they can call in good times or bad. There is no one with whom to bounce ideas around, or to talk about deep and troubling subjects. They have no one to call in times of need or difficulty. They are at the mercy of life, standing alone.
Others seem to have a multitude of friends. Wherever they go, people know them, and like to be around them. Should trouble strike, their biggest hesitation might be over which friend to call. They know exactly the person with whom to discuss the topics of inquiry and debate. Life is full of entertaining and invigorating relationships because it is full of friends.
There ought to be a course in school on friendship. Of course, some people are perfectly happy to operate with fewer friends. They might rather have a few deep and loyal friends, than many superficial ones. Others thrive best when friends are everywhere and numerous. It is not so much the number of friends that is important as is the possession of friends, period.
Friendship is a blessing, and a friend is the channel through whom great emotional, spiritual, and sometimes even physical blessings flow. Friends can cheer us when we’re sorrowful or depressed. Friends can challenge us when we allow ourselves to get beyond our reasonable boundaries. Friends can motivate us when we’re ready to give in, and they can provide for us when life falls apart. They are there when all is well, and we want someone with whom to share life’s pleasant and memorable moments. We often just want them around to have a good time, to laugh, to act silly; to enjoy some mutually liked activity. In how many ways have friends enriched our lives and made us feel loved, accepted, respected and cared for? Probably, too many to list, and the list grows daily.
It is safe to say that when God created the world and all the majestic things in it, when he streaked the heavens with radiant color and the earth with grand mountains and awe-inspiring canyons, when he painted the plains with waving grasses and erected noble forests of towering trees, he outdid it all by creating friends. Why not take a moment or two and thank someone today for being a friend to you?
May God bless you with all the friends you need, and may he turn you into a blessing by using you as a friend to others.

Love & Friendship

LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP
Two men lived, and two men died,
and each saw the world through a different pair of eyes,
and throughout their ventures, they often stopped to cry,
for one closed his eyes and the other was blind.

The blind man was full of hope and cheer,
but that wouldn't last long, didn't you hear?
The blind man took a risk and leaped through a door,
and now we find that his heart's been broken,
it shattered on the floor.

Like all blind men he was in the dark,
and he found that love isn't just a walk in the park.
He fell head over heels,
and he dared to feel,
but like many of the blind he tripped and fell,
and his unrequited love has put him in a spell.

The blind men's depressed now,
so was it worth the risk?
You decide if your heartbreak's worth just a kiss.

Two men lived, and two men died,
and each saw the world through a different pair of eyes,
and throughout their ventures, they often stopped to cry,
for one closed his eyes and the other was blind.

The man who closed his eyes was often called stupid,
but he was the smartest of all, and here, I'll prove it:
The man always had a friend which he could turn to,
a person who would never say "I think that we're through."
As a kid he learned that its best to close your eyes
and that you'll still have pain but your heart will never be slain.

He fell head over heels,
but someone helped him back up,
and then that someone fell,
and he helped him out of hell.

This man's depressed now,
but what do we know?
That he has someone to help him, when he is feeling low.

Two men lived, and two men died,
and each saw the world through a different pair of eyes,
so remember this when you're gonna shout a lonely cry:
Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes.

True Friend

Friends play an important role in a person's life. They encourage when one is sad, they entertain when one is lonesome, and they listen when one has problems. There are varieties of friends: co-workers, social workers, schoolmates, and much more. Each type of friends is helpful in one way or the other. Co-workers could help solve problems and stress gain in the workplace. Friends from the community widen one's prospective by introducing new people from different areas. Friends that grew up with would share the happiness and sadness one might has. However, friends that grew up with might not always be the best friends because they could faking it or been concealing some secrets. So, it is very important for one to recognize all the friends s/he has because good friends are hard to find. Good friends should not be measured only base on the time spent together. With good friends, one is able to have a more meaningful life. It is very difficult to have a definition of a good friend for everyone to agree upon. Since everyone has different personalities, friends one looks for could be very different. Nonetheless, there are some common characteristics shared among most of the definitions.
Friendship will last longer when both sides are eager to take on the responsibilities of being a true friend. Friends that help, understand, and encourage are in fact the main qualities of being true friends. Since true friends are hard to get, one should treasure each of his/her friend and be respectful of each other. People that have one or more good friends will know how fortunate they are. With good friends, people would have higher self-esteem, confidence and motivation. Friends will encourage, inspire, and support each other. A true friend will be honest, loyal, and do not share secrets with other people without his/her friends' permission. So that between friends, each will know they could trust each other. Good friends are always by each other's side by giving time to listen, understand, and to solve problems. Good friends give helpful advice to help each other to face their difficulties. Friends would not run away when their friends run into troubles. Friends have good communication and are willing to share both the good and bad times. So, friends are an important and essential part of a person's life.
Loyal is one of the main qualities one looks for when searching for friends. Trusts are gain by having trustworthy friends. At lease once in a person's life, one would encounter a friend that likes to share secrets that belong to others with his/her friends. This could be very entertaining for his/her friends, yet the person with the secret would feel irritated. With no doubts, one would not desire to have a blabbermouth person as a friend; except one wants to spread rumours around or wants to find out other people's secrets. So, it would be most comfortable to tell secrets to someone that is trustworthy. A loyal friend would protect their friends' secrets under any conditions. Unless permission is given, friends should not publicize each other's secrets. If friends do reveal others' secrets, for example, it could destroy their friend.

Friends from my Angle

I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frostwork, but the solidest thing we know. For now, after so many ages of experience, what do we know of nature, or of ourselves? Not one step has man taken toward the solution of the problem of his destiny. In one condemnation of folly stand the whole universe of men. But the sweet sincerity of joy and peace, which I draw from this alliance with my brother's soul, is the nut itself, whereof all nature and all thought is but the husk and shell. Happy is the house that shelters a friend! It might well be built, like a festal bower or arch, to entertain him a single day. Happier, if he know the solemnity of that relation, and honor its law! He who offers himself a candidate for that covenant comes up, like an Olympian, to the great games, where the first-born of the world are the competitors. He proposes himself for contests where Time, Want, Danger, are in the lists, and he alone is victor who has truth enough in his constitution to preserve the delicacy of his beauty from the wear and tear of all these. The gifts of fortune may be present or absent, but all the speed in that contest depends on intrinsic nobleness, and the contempt of trifles. There are two elements that go to the composition of friendship, each so sovereign that I can detect no superiority in either, no reason why either should be first named. One is Truth. A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another. Sincerity is the luxury allowed, like diadems and authority, only to the highest rank, that being permitted to speak truth, as having none above it to court or conform unto. Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins. We parry and fend the approach of our fellow-man by compliments, by gossip, by amusements, by affairs. We cover up our thought from him under a hundred folds. I knew a man, who, under a certain religious frenzy, cast off this drapery, and, omitting all compliment and commonplace, spoke to the conscience of every person he encountered, and that with great insight and beauty. At first he was resisted, and all men agreed he was mad. But persisting, as indeed he could not help doing, for some time in this course, he attained to the advantage of bringing every man of his acquaintance into true relations with him. No man would think of speaking falsely with him, or of putting him off with any chat of markets or reading-rooms. But every man was constrained by so much sincerity to the like plain dealing, and what love of nature, what poetry, what symbol of truth he had, he did certainly show him. But to most of us society shows not its face and eye, but its side and its back. To stand in true relations with men in a false age is worth a fit of insanity, is it not? We can seldom go erect. Almost every man we meet requires some civility, — requires to be humored; he has some fame, some talent, some whim of religion or philanthropy in his head that is not to be questioned, and which spoils all conversation with him. But a friend is a sane man who exercises not my ingenuity, but me. My friend gives me entertainment without requiring any stipulation on my part. A friend, therefore, is a sort of paradox in nature. I who alone am, I who see nothing in nature whose existence I can affirm with equal evidence to my own, behold now the semblance of my being, in all its height, variety, and curiosity, reiterated in a foreign form; so that a friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

Nature of Friends

Friendship may be said to require natures so rare and costly, each so well tempered and so happily adapted, and withal so circumstanced, (for even in that particular, a poet says, love demands that the parties be altogether paired,) that its satisfaction can very seldom be assured. It cannot subsist in its perfection, say some of those who are learned in this warm lore of the heart, betwixt more than two. I am not quite so strict in my terms, perhaps because I have never known so high a fellowship as others. I please my imagination more with a circle of godlike men and women variously related to each other, and between whom subsists a lofty intelligence. But I find this law of one to one peremptory for conversation, which is the practice and consummation of friendship. Do not mix waters too much. The best mix as ill as good and bad. You shall have very useful and cheering discourse at several times with two several men, but let all three of you come together and you shall not have one new and hearty word. Two may talk and one may hear, but three cannot take part in a conversation of the most sincere and searching sort. In good company there is never such discourse between two, across the table, as takes place when you leave them alone. In good company, the individuals merge their egotism into a social soul exactly co-extensive with the several consciousnesses there present. No partialities of friend to friend, no fondnesses of brother to sister, of wife to husband, are there pertinent, but quite otherwise. Only he may then speak who can sail on the common thought of the party, and not poorly limited to his own. Now this convention, which good sense demands, destroys the high freedom of great conversation, which requires an absolute running of two souls into one.
No two men but, being left alone with each other, enter into simpler relations. Yet it is affinity that determines which two shall converse. Unrelated men give little joy to each other; will never suspect the latent powers of each. We talk sometimes of a great talent for conversation, as if it were a permanent property in some individuals. Conversation is an evanescent relation, — no more. A man is reputed to have thought and eloquence; he cannot, for all that, say a word to his cousin or his uncle. They accuse his silence with as much reason as they would blame the insignificance of a dial in the shade. In the sun it will mark the hour. Among those who enjoy his thought, he will regain his tongue.
Friendship requires that rare mean betwixt likeness and unlikeness, that piques each with the presence of power and of consent in the other party. Let me be alone to the end of the world, rather than that my friend should overstep, by a word or a look, his real sympathy. I am equally balked by antagonism and by compliance. Let him not cease an instant to be himself. The only joy I have in his being mine, is that the not mine is mine. I hate, where I looked for a manly furtherance, or at least a manly resistance, to find a mush of concession. Better be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo. The condition which high friendship demands is ability to do without it. That high office requires great and sublime parts. There must be very two, before there can be very one. Let it be an alliance of two large, formidable natures, mutually beheld, mutually feared, before yet they recognize the deep identity which beneath these disparities unites them.

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

One of the more effective methods of reducing stress, improving your mental and physical well-being is so obvious that it might not even jump to mind if I asked you to list the healthiest of human activities, and yet with jobs and online social networking sites, we lose sight of the importance of spending actual face-to-face time with our friends.

Friendship provides companionship, boosts self-esteem and yes, even has positive benefits for your mental and physical well-being.
A good friend is good for your health. Having a coffee with a friend, attending the opera, chatting while your children play together, or even boating at Cape Cod are seemingly simple, but emotionally resonant ways to connect with another human being. Friendship is a condition, a situation that speaks directly to the human need to belong, to feel a sense of purpose, and to have our own self-worth validated and thus promotes positive mental health.
In the wake of divorce, death, or job loss, friends help you manage where you may not have been able to alone. Yes, friends may encourage self-destructive behavior, such as binge-drinking, but they might also encourage you to take care of your health, and share in the many pleasures of life; the birth of a child, getting a new job, buying a house.

Celebration in times of triumph, and comfort in times of travail: simply knowing that friends are around can prevent you from reacting unhealthily to stressful situations.

Some of us seek out vast and diverse groups of friends, while others prefer the intimacy of small and more intense friendships. Certain friends do best in conversation, while others benefit from a casual and loose socializing, whether it be playing a game of basketball, or enjoying a barbecue.
As we age, it becomes difficult for many adults, especially men, to pursue new friendships or maintain existing ones. Time is short, and friendships often must suffer in order to meet the demands of career or family.
Developing friendships is laborious, yes, and does involve some sacrifices, but the benefits far outweigh the burden.
Some ways to develop new friendships include: walking your pet and meeting people, working out at a gym or athletics club, going for lunch with a new acquaintance, accept invitations to parties or gatherings even if you feel slightly uncomfortable, volunteer with a non-profit or charitable organization, join a hobby association or arts group, or even returning to school.
Making friends isn’t instant noodles, but once you put in the initial effort, it becomes easier, and you develop a rapport with your friend. It may be that you’re the one supporting your friends initially, and then there will be other times when you’re receiving their support and encouragement.
Letting friends know that you care for, and appreciate them will ensure the bonds remain strong, even in rough and choppy waters. Being a noble ally is just as important as having noble allies.
Some tips: don’t smother your friends (respect their boundaries), be self-aware, don’t turn everything into a competition, be realistic about yourself, improve yourself, avoid non-stop complaining, be positive, and most importantly, listen. Often times, it can be that our friends see aspects of our personalities that we don’t see ourselves. Use that to your advantage.
A friendship can be a safe haven from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, the daily hardships and trials we all experience. Compassion, regard, and love all spring from friendship and can also make you feel needed when you offer a hand out to a friend in need. Relationships do change, and it may not be as simple as it was during school, or in our childhood, but if we are to experience all of the wonders of existence, to endure, to flourish, and to nurture others, we must invest in friends and allow them to invest in us.